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Why do I need to be kind in relationships? Because kindness begets kindness, even though it may take a while before its reciprocated, and it’s more valuable to you than being nice.

I wish I never had to think about being kind, like some people I know. Kindness is understanding over criticism, compassion over judgement and healing over harm. It’s selflessness, the antithesis of selfishness. Man is not naturally endowed with selflessness and narcissistic tendencies need curbing.

Nice shouldn’t be allowed to describe someone. Nice is arbitrary, its unhelpful and offers little value apart from its convenience as an indifference filler.

There is little point in sugar-coating by being nice when you could be helpful by being kind. It’s a matter of being considerate without the need to please or feel beholden to someone.

Nice is nothing, kind is king. When you are kind to someone you make their day better. You are kind to someone with whom you have a relationship when you respectfully tell them the truth or appreciate their finer qualities. Everyone has these even through you may sometimes need to mine for them.

If you want a friend then be a friend. If you want kindness then be kind. Kindness creates a powerful connection in that one would feel that someone is talking with them rather than talking to them.

It costs nothing to be kind and it’s a goodwill injection for relationships. Kindness is generously expressed by those who know who they are and have accepted themselves, warts and all. The acceptance of their fallibility helps them to be kinder to someone else because they may be experiencing similar things.

Being kind and approachable may expose you to relationship exploitation although the upside will outweigh any downside. Research shows that merely volunteering acts of kindness negates risk factors (physical and brain health) associated with social isolation.

Do you want to join the kindness club? Live altruistically, its kindness in action!

I am the author of Leading Self and Others (how to make a difference where you are with what you’ve got) and Teaming with ideas (life lessons in teams – from business, sport and parkrun). You can contact me here.