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One of the hardest leadership lessons isn’t about strategy, skill, or even resilience – it’s about ego. “Getting over ourselves” sounds simple, but in practice it’s a deeply uncomfortable process. It requires us to confront the stories we tell about who we are, the masks we wear, and the defences we build to protect our sense of identity.

At work and in life, we often cling to roles, achievements, or titles as proof of our worth. These external markers become intertwined with our self‑image. When challenged, we instinctively defend them, even when doing so limits growth.

The paradox is clear: the very things that once propelled us forward can become barriers to our next stage of development. What got us there will not keep us there.

Why is it so difficult? Firstly, ego thrives on comparison. We measure ourselves against colleagues, competitors, or even imagined ideals. This easily becomes a seductive trap as most social media and marketing will lead you there, should you allow them to.

Secondly, to “get over ourselves” means admitting we don’t have all the answers, that we need others, and that our value isn’t diminished by humility. This is huge as vulnerability can be frightening!

Getting over ourselves means anchoring our ambition in service, not self‑protection. Identity is ‘sticky’ as we invest years in building a narrative of competence and ‘success’ aimed to fast track results, through people.

The leaders who manage to step beyond ego discover something liberating. They become more open to feedback, more collaborative, and more adaptable. Their influence grows because they project strength by embodying authenticity.

The challenge is real, but so is the reward. When we loosen our grip on ego, we gain the freedom to lead with clarity, connection, and courage. And that is ultimately what people will remember.

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